"It's a car, meets a board game... from the seventies"
July 14, 2004 - 2:38am
S (12:17:46 AM): this morning crap sucks
S (12:17:53 AM): I have to wear closed toe shoes to work
S (12:17:54 AM): that sucks
S (12:17:55 AM): ass
S (12:17:57 AM): double ass
S (12:18:09 AM): if you can't tell, I'm really tired, and I just saw anchorman
S (12:18:11 AM): it sucked
S (12:18:12 AM): ass
Tonight I met my Aunt Tracy, drunk circa 1975. She talked like her, she walked like her, and got way too close when speaking to me. She was really nice(!), but a lot to take. I was also tempted to tell her that I can see her future: a nomad that finds Jesus Christ and drives all her relatives insane (the latter not actually related to the former).
But she will anything for anyone she loves, and will randomly pull amazing things together, impressing everyone.
Just like anyone else, good with the bad.
I realized yesterday that I have somehow managed to nearly give up drawing for the summer, completely by accident. The last time I drew was when I was in Blakely, in my Uncle Charles's farm house, trying to draw his wife, my aunt. At the time I was running on about 3 hours of sleep, and gave up pretty quickly and went to take a nap in the guest room.
And that was the last time.
Lately I haven't been hungry. I'm constantly forgetting to eat, and if I'm not going to work, I won't get out of bed til 3, 4, 5 in the afternoon. I rarely want to do any of the things I supposedly enjoy—drawing, photography, writing, even listening to music—but I feel fine. I believe that I am happy, or at least content. And I feel okay. I think.
This is much different than any other depression I've experienced in my short time here. I just feel off, not down. It's unsettling.
I'm trying not to bitch. But I also believe that if I put this out there, then it will be away from me, outside of me, and then I can move on with things.
Then I can regain my passion for things, and go back to being funny.
July 19, 2004 - 1:19am
Chick, This is not like you. You have an obsessive personality. You are supposed to be doing to things you enjoy. That's what your personality dictates. I'm wondering if these things you say you love and "enjoy", you actually don't love any more. Hmm.
You are reading a post titled "It's a car, meets a board game... from the seventies", dated July 14, 2004. The previous post, dated July 3, 2004 is It's an imperfect world, but it's mine.. The next post, dated July 15, 2004 is We can go to Athens, meet 'em in town / Sing a song that you wrote on the way down.
