Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 10.0 [Focus.]

Be the "biggest" out of all your friends

I was looking for something else in my Spam folder, and came across this subject line, and incredibly enough (must be the lack of sleep) it got my mental wheels turning. Maybe there is something about relationships between heterosexual men that I don't know about, but I'm trying to think of a situation in which a man would have the opportunity, let alone desire, to confirm that he does in fact have the biggest penis when compared to his entire circle of friends. Even assuming that your entire circle is a rugby team and you spend a lot of locker room time together, I thought there was a general consensus to keep the eyes well above the waist area.

So sincere question, fellas — do you know where you are in the pecking order among all your friends? Yes or no is all I ask for, although you can volunteer more information if it gives you a self esteem boost.

(Not that size is the kind of thing that matters to the ladies, motion of the ocean and all that, but it clearly matters to men.)

Bonus spam break down, this testimonial from the same email:

"At the beginning I decided the specimen package I acquired gratis was an idle jest, until I tried [redacted]. I can not describe depict how highly satisfied I am with the consequences I achieved from using this patch for 6 brief weeks. I will be asking for [redacted] regularly!"
Steve Burbon, Texas

1. It does not make any sense to me that a spam email trying to appeal to a low common dominator would use a phrase like “I decided the specimen package I acquired gratis was an idle jest”
2. While there may be some things about men I do not understand, the one thing I can say with some certainty that a man using any product intended for penis enlargement would not give his first and last name to be published in testimonial for that said product. I mean really.