Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 9.0 // Critical Darling, Commercial Flop

When I was seventeen, I went to my first real rock and roll show.

Yes, I like to act as if I've been in the scene forever, but your little Jenna, who is at once a professional fan and pretentious, unforgiving music critic, had at one time completely given up on anything remotely resembling contemporary music.

I listened to nothing but the local oldies station all through middle school. This was back when “oldies radio” meant the '50s and early '60s, and not any year remotely approaching the year of my birth in the early '80s. I didn't have any strong affinity for oldies radio, but a person has to listen to something while doing homework or falling asleep, so that is what I kept the clock radio in my bedroom set to.

At the end of eighth grade I was advised (more or less) that everyone my age listened to 99X, which I believe, at the time, was billed as “Alternative Rock”. Whatever that means. I remember the exact conversation sitting in the computer room in the hallway where you took all your electives, next to this girl whose name I will not publish but do remember. For some reason I perceived her to be cooler than me, and when she heard that I listened to Fox 97 (“Good times, great oldies”) she tried to chastise me, and fully succeeded. So I switched.

What followed that was a few festival type concerts, the kind of all day events with too much sun and overpriced food. I thought that's what live music was. I had never been to a club show, and I think I was completely ignorant of their existence. And while I generally had fun playing in the sun all day and into the night, throwing up rock hands and dodging the feet of wayward crowd surfers, I never felt like I had seen a tremendous amount of music. The performers at these shows were often hundreds of feet away and projected onto large screens at either side of the stage. I often wondered to myself why I was paying so much money to basically sit in the hot sun and watch broadcast television.

I distinctly remember, at 15 years old, lying in the sun, in the middle of the stadium at the International Horse Park, catching a nap during the Fuel set. Granted, Fuel isn't the most amazing band, but I was 15 and this was 1998. I should have been nuts for them. It seemed like everyone else was. Read More »

There is a discussion on the much lauded opium² about the best songs to do the deed to. I was asked to weigh in by the Roommates™ (I have this undeserved rep as a mixtape aficionado) and offered this:

What you need to understand is, the key to a good sex mix is the fact that the seduction music is part of it. You can't stop someone in the middle of, um, whatever they are doing so you can run over to your CD player and pop in your “Music for Humpin” mix. You have to start it up when you get them back to your humble abode, and act like you're not trying to imply anything with your HOTT background music.

It also shouldn't just stop abruptly at the end of the act. Think about a story arch. A climax is simply the major turning point, not the end.

So, presented with notation, a chronological sex mix:

Arrival. "Come on in, sorry about the mess."

1. Strong As Death (Sweet As Love) // Al Green
2. Lover, You Should've Come Over // Jeff Buckley

Smooching begins.

3. Love Letters // Jude
4. I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) // Otis Redding

Clothes start coming off. Nakedness and related activity is in full swing by track 7.

5. I Want You // Elvis Costello
6. Sugar Pill // Ambulance Ltd
7. I Remember // Damien Rice

Climax.

8. We Looked Like Giants // Death Cab For Cutie

Hopefully at this point you have wooed the honey to the point where they want to have breakfast with you in the morning. There is none of that "I have to get up really early" stuff. And you fall asleep.

9. Falling Away With You // Muse
10. Drown In My Own Tears // Will Hoge

This puts the whole act, from start to finish, at about 45 minutes. While that might be a lot to expect from men at my age, it's certainly not impossible. A girl can dream.

It should be noted that my obsession is not sex, it's mixtapes—pacing, timing, and flow. It has many of the same concerns as sex I suppose.

I had a blast at The Company's Xmas party. I took the Indian as my date, and at 6:00 pm we got on the bus that would take most of the Athens attendees to the party in Gwinnett. The thing that is both cool and dangerous about taking a bus to this party is the drinking begins the moment you get on the bus. So, my estimate was totally off. Drinks included:

• Something Neil handed to me on the ride down, ordering me to “Drink this!” Even though it was pretty weak the Indian determined for me that it contained bourbon.
• three vodkas on the rocks from the bar at the party (where I had this classic exchange with the bartender):
  

  “Vodka on ice, please.”
  (Incredulous.) “Vodka on ice?”
  “Yessir.”
  (Smiling.) “I like it when people say that.”

• Something an unnamed manager came up and offered. Possibly gin with sprite.
• All of what was in my flask. (5-6 oz. vodka)
• About half of the whiskey in Neil's flask.
• and several hits off of Neil's bottle of Gentleman Jack.

An aside: while making this list, I have determined I owe Neil a bottle of something in the near future.

The party had a casino theme, and while I didn't gamble, I did stand at the end of the craps table for a little while, cheering and blowing on dice. I felt like an archetypal Vegas blonde and I loved it. I stayed off the dance floor but shook my hips to the music anyway. CB and I rapped along to Missy Elliot while Neil gave us his best faux look of stern dissapproval in our musical tastes. I didn't express it but I couldn't get over how hot everyone looked. We clean up very nicely, part timers especially.

Silliness abounded, which as it turns out, was only a precursor to the drunken melodrama that followed on the ride home. Read More »

Today, I practiced my right to vote. I am part of the system now, as flawed as it is.

In celebration, I made an election day mix.

1. Hey Mr. President (Anyone But You) - Will Hoge
2. Young America - Jump
3. Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World
4. If 6 Was 9 - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
5. Know Your Enemy - Rage Against the Machine
6. MOSH - Eminem
7. Politik - Coldplay
8. Oppression - Ben Harper
9. Bible Vs. Gun - Will Hoge
10. Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 - Bob Dylan
11. Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
12. Who's To Blame - Ozomatli
13. Let It Be - The Beatles
14. The Times They Are A-Changin' (Bob Dylan Cover) - Will Hoge
15. Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin

Last Thursday night I went to see Will Hoge play at Tastyworld. He played everything I wanted to hear. I danced a lot, and sang along at the appropriate parts. I got drunk. Really, really drunk. I officially introduced myself to the Tastyworld bartenders, even though they have known my face and my drink for quite a while now. Julie and Jason both praised me at different times for being such a wonderful, easy to deal with customer. I felt special.

Talking to Will after the show I felt like a not-so-responsible music geek, because I had to inquire into the interludes/breakdowns during “Sweet Magdeline”.

“Led Zeppelin — ‘How Many More Times’, and the Beatles — ‘Helter Skelter’.”

“Led Zeppelin.”

“Yes — I'll tell you what you do. You go out, you buy Zeppelin I and II.”

“I and II. You know, I have IV.”

“No no no — by IV, they were into to much of that devil shit. This is pure solid rock n roll. So, you listen for about 2 weeks.”

“2 weeks.”

“That's about how long it really takes. Then you go out and buy a DVD called How the West Was Won. You'll love it. Then email me and tell me how it changed your life, because it will change your life.”

“It'll change my life.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“I have to tell you, I got into Otis Redding a few years ago because of how much you talked about him.”

“See, I've never led you astray.”

“Never.”

I did the fangirl thing, waiting outside in the back while those chuckleheads loaded their gear, and then ended up at IHOP with Will, his new tour manager Russell, and four random girls. We entertained the waitresses. I annoyed everyone with the drunken laughing and carrying on.

I got home at about 5:30 am. I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember waking up to my alarm, still drunk, feeling like I hadn't slept at all, abso-fucking-lutely amazed it was 8 am already. I seriously could not believe it. I was sure there was some malfunction on my alarm clock, and I checked it against my cell phone. Unbelievable! I thought. Did I even sleep?

I went to class and sat there for about 20 minutes, staring at the slides, hearing the teacher, before I realized that my drunkness was quickly turning into a hangover and I didn't know what the hell was going on in the class itself. I got up, out, and walked to work in the bright morning.

The first couple of hours at work seemed to take My Entire Life. At one point I realized I had been staring at my monitor for 15 minutes, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over. I clocked out, went home, and took a nap for lunch.

That night I went to bed just after 10 pm, and slept til noon the next day. I got up and padded around the house in my pjs, made food, and contemplated traveling to Smith's to see Will Hoge. Yes, again. The kicker was when Tessa posted in her livejournal that she had a plus one that someone could take advantage of. I called her up, and I had a free ticket that I couldn't back out of. It was etched in stone.

With that decision made, I drove into Atlanta, by myself, for the first time ever. I got all the way to Smith's without getting lost and without getting freaked out by traffic on 85 (although I did nearly get slammed into by a little white muscle car trying to get into my lane on the right and totally not paying attention to where his rear end was, but I honked at his stupid ass and he backed off).

Will Hoge rocked so hardcore. I almost died when he broke out a Will classic interlude, “Let's Get It On”, during “Sweet Magdeline”, which I'm pretty sure was a surprise to everyone in the room, including the rest of the band. That transported me back to the best part of being 18. The only thing more magical was when the band left the stage, and when the crowd called for a encore, Jeff, the keyboard player, came up by himself, and started playing “Carousel”. The house lights came up, and Will appeared from nowhere in the back of the room and sang the whole song sans-microphone. It was even magic when he realized he had the wrong harmonica and hollered at their old manager, Cliffy, to bring him the correct one.

Will, smiling, “I know this is very awkward, but I promise I'll make it up to ya.”

They closed out the show with a bang, and afterward everyone milled about in typical fankid fashion, until they kicked us out on the street, where Will hung out and took pictures and warned people before hugging him that he was ridiculously sweaty. That's what you get from rocking out so hard.

I hung around long enough to realize I was way tired, and starving, and essentially by myself in Atlanta. It was time to go home. I left Smith's an exactly 3:30, and pulled up in front of my apartment at exactly 4:30. You might say I made excellent time.

I passed out in my bed at about 5:30 am, after having some eats and talking briefly to a half-awake Abie. I slept for about 12 hours. I got up and did typical Sunday things: cut coupons, watched movies, annoyed my roommates with my total inability to self-schedule at all. I then doped myself up and went back to sleep around midnight.

What do I love? Feeling really rested, and ready to rock n roll again.

Does anyone want to drive me to Nashville and spend July 4th weekend with me there?

There is a Will Hoge concert at the famous Exit/In and some other exclusive dealies.

I don't want to go all by myself. Don't make me, cause I will, you know.

x. Fallen for your best friend - No no no.
x. Been rejected - Yeah.
x. Been in love - No.
x. Done something you regret - a couple things, it doesn't keep me up at night or anything Read More »

Charleston was good. Saw 5 shows in three evenings (3 Dockstreets, a Tinkers, and a Will), shopped a little, and wondered around the charming part of the city by myself at length. It was definitely a long-overdue vacation and I felt I got a whole lot out of it without having to do too much. Very relaxing.

I think the word for Charleston, for me, is cute. I was asked by a few different parties during the course of the trip if I "love Charleston as much as we do", and the short answer is, I don't. It's a nice little city, not lacking in southern charm, lovely walks and excellent shopping, but it struck me as too damn wholesome, and the debauchary that I felt goes along with the real character of a city of any larger size was missing. Most places closed in the early evening, sometimes even before the hours posted on the door. The night life seemed to consist of a few dives you could count on one hand, and it didn't seem like you could eat anywhere after midnight. Not one all-night diner?

The good news is, in a city like that, where you have to get up during the day to do anything, and anything consists of shopping, walking or reading in the park, you get a whole lot of thinking done. Charleston tends to lend all it's beauty to sorting things out. Read More »

This morning I was walking to work, through downtown Athens. Athens is a college town. 9 AM, Christmas Eve, downtown Athens, it's empty. Besides being eerily quiet, there are also about a billion parking spaces. And yet, there she was, the meter maid, wearing a Santa hat, giving out parking tickets to all the naughty boys and girls.

Merry. Freakin'. Christmas.

A YEAR IN RETROSPECT... a survey that actually means something, stolen from here. Read More »

1.What is your full name? Jenna Iliene Tollerson

2. What color pants are you wearing? Vintage-washed blue jeans

3. What are you listening to right now? some commercial

4. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 9314

5. What was the last thing you ate? Cheesy Baked Potato hamburger helper

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? nelly queen purple

7. How is the weather right now? Calm and cool.

8. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? smile, shoulders

9. Do you like the person who sent you this? I stole it from Sam, actually. Don't steal!

11. How are you today? My ear hurts. A lot. And I'm actually kinda depressed. Enough for Nathan, my Starbucks guy, to inquire into my well-being this morning. I think I freaked him out somehow because he seemed really concerned.

12. Favorite drink? Jack and Coke, Everclear and Coke, Bacardi and Sprite, Southern Comfort Lemonade, and Dr. Pepper

13. Favorite candy? belgian chocolate, gummy bears, chocolate covered almonds

14. Favorite sport? stopped caring about that.

15. Hair color? Light brown with gold highlights.

16. Eye color? Really blue.

17. Do you wear contacts? yes

18. Siblings and their ages: Heather, 27, Sarah, 17.

19. Favorite month? ummmmm November

20. Favorite foods? I wish I hated food. But I don't.

21. Last movie you watched? I'm half-watching The Mummy on TBS right now. Jesus this movie is awful.

22. Favorite day of the year? my birthday. I like presents, but I love attention.

23. Who is your best friend? You are.

24. Are you too shy to ask someone out? I'm just afraid of rejection, not really shy. I'll talk your fucking ear off, baby.

26. Summer or Winter? Summer. Summer is like a big soothing blanket that wraps around everything.

27. Hugs or kisses? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not going to choose.

28. Relationships or one night stands? I just want to date and have fun and be young! And not be a huge slut. There is middle ground.

29. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate

30. Do you want your friends to write back? eh. I'll be happy if anyone even comments because I don't think anyone besides the Kirbys even read this anymore.

31. Living arrangements? for just a little while longer, with my fam in Winder. Soon: Downtown Athens, Baby! With the coolest people ever!

32. What books are you reading? The Portable Beat reader edited by Ann Charters.

33. What's on your mouse pad? I've been using my laptop without a mouse for so long now I don't even remember

34. Favorite board game? Dictionary Dabble

35. What did you do last night? Hung out with my good friend Sam, came home, cleaned my room some while listening to Loveline, cleaned out my closet and found out I had been storing a bunch of space-comsuming empty boxes on the top shelf. What the freaking hell?

36. Favorite smells? The Candies I am wearing right now, Hugo, Rum, rain

37. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I know that would make me a very popular girl but I don't think I want that kind of popularity.

38. What inspires you? Men. Music. Compliments.

39. Buttered, plain, or salty? Popcorn is just awful.

40. Favorite car? 1985 Volvo 240.

41. Favorite flower? Birds of Paradise, or anything tropical, really.

42. How many keys on your key ring? 8. Two different doors to my house; 3 car keys: 2 ignition, 1 trunk; two keys for work, and one for a padlock.

43. Can you juggle? nopers.

44. Favorite day(s) of the week? Friday.

45. Red or white wine? Blushed zinfendel. I don't think I spelled it right. Maybe I'm drunk.

46. What did you do for your last birthday? On the actual day of my birth I celebrated by taking 3 tests. But the following weekend I travelled to Nashville for the Will Hoge CD release party. :)

47. Do you carry a donor card? No. I'm a selfish bastard. Lalala.

48. Lifetime goals? To be lucky in love and money.

49. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? "I just need 10 more minutes! 15! 360!"